Been a while

Busy life detracts from blogging sometimes!

Two nights ago, as I tucked J in bed, we were listening to the crickets chirping through the open window. Or rather, J was listening and I was oblivious to the racket until he said, "Mom? Are crickets nocturnal? Because I don't hear them during the day."

Nocturnal, huh? That's a big word to remember!


I can't believe I'm doing what I'm doing right now! I'm filling out J's wall calendar with the first day of school and days off, etc. from the school calendar. I'm quite nervous about sending him to school. I worry that he'll be bored, get into trouble for goofing off, and about his attitude of superiority that he often wields. I had trouble in school when I could see several ways to interpret instructions, or especially when I'd already learned something at a higher level and didn't understand why a teacher wanted me to do it a certain, preliminary way. I expect the same problems will pop up for J. I think I could give him some pointers, thankfully!

He has already expressed a concern that the books in his classroom will probably be too easy for him. We got him some Level 1 & 2 easy reader books at the library, and he scorned them as too easy. They really are. He decided that when we go back to the library, he'll look for Level 3.

I also worry about social things. I don't know what's "cool" for a kindergarten kid to be into. J still plays Little People with his little brother. On the other hand, he's decided that Thomas the Tank Engine is for babies, although I know many older children still like him. Maybe the real issue here is that I'm going to just have to leave him on his own, to like what he likes and dislike what he doesn't, and possibly get teased for it. Until now, I've tried to expose him only to things that I feel are appropriate, but now, I can't control what he's exposed to for several hours a day. He's just growing up, I guess!

Harry Potter

Last night, a Harry Potter movie was playing on tv. I figured J was old enough to handle it, and maybe enjoy it. I figured we'd at least try it. Both boys were very attentive, which is extraordinary for any film that is not animated. After all, they are preschoolers.

Today, I toyed with the idea of reading the books with J. Yes, it's a huge jump from The Berenstein Bears to Harry Potter, skipping all the beginner chapter books. But I thought I'd offer. J responded, "I dunno. The words are pretty small. In grown up books, the letters usually start off big, but then they get small." I think he's referring to the customarily oversized first letter of each chapter?

I offered to give it a try, and if he doesn't like it, we'll stop. J agreed, and immediately got ants in his pants. I told him we'd have to wait until after our meal was over. As soon as he was done, he ran to the living room and pulled the first Harry Potter book off our shelves. I didn't realize he knew which books they were!

He read the first paragraph on his own, stumbling on "Privet" and "involved," but sailing through "mysterious" as though it were nothing. But I could tell his comprehension was lacking. I took over and began to read with as much gusto as I could muster, and my best British and Scottish accents. As I read, I became aware of the immense vocabulary J.K. Rowling employed. Yikes! How could a 5 year old understand these words? I cautiously waited for J to give up or show signs of boredom or overload.

Half-way through the first chapter, I felt his attention wane. I asked if he'd like to take a break, but he shook his head. We did take a break a few pages later, but he asked to return to reading later that evening. We were almost done with chapter 2 when he needed another break, but said he'd like to read more for his bedtime story.

At bedtime, we finished chapter 2 and he begged to go on to chapter 3. He read the first paragraph to show his willingness. When I closed the book and said we'd have leave it there for the night, he began to cry. "I didn't get enough story! Only 4 pages!" Remember, boy, those words are small! Four pages is a lot!

I think he likes it.

You Know Your Child Is Gifted When... Part Two

Verbal Proficiency (Words, Words, Words)

• Talk early (and never stop talking!)
  Neither J nor Z spoke early. But they never stop talking! They may have spoken earlier if we had not taught them to sign, but we communicated with them much younger because we did.
  
• Skip the period of grammatical errors ("I falled," "he gots") that most toddlers go through
  J used adverbs correctly from the beginning. I don't really know how many mistakes most toddlers make, but J didn't make many. Z makes a few more, like saying, "There's ours house!" and "That hurted." It would almost be sad if he didn't, though.
  
• Pronounce words correctly from the start
  It seems like J & Z don't attempt words if they can't say them. We thought maybe Z didn't know the color orange, but he just couldn't say it right, so he didn't. I think they're definitely on the side of pronouncing things right off the bat more often than not.
  
• Quickly develop a large and advanced vocabulary
  J & Z's vocabularies are a source of great amusement to us. It's so funny to hear tiny voices say unexpectedly complex words.
  
• Use complex sentence structure (conjunctions like "however" and "although")
  If parents don't use words like "however," it's unlikely their children will. Ours use the word "but" instead, because we parents do.
  
• Make up elaborate stories
  Z is more of a story-teller, but neither really makes up stories.
  
• Easily memorize poems and stories
  We need to get Z on video reciting his two favorite books. They're quite complex, with phrases like, "Across that sea so wide banana tree she spied. 'How delectable,' she sighed!"
  
• Enjoy reciting poems and rhymes
  I had to dig back into the memories for this one. J used to recite nursery rhymes quite easily. Both of them like singing songs better now.
  
• Prefer books with more words and fewer pictures
  Z still likes picture books, but he's only 2. J prefers books that teach him a concept, non-fiction books, or complex stories.
  
• Catch you if you skip parts of books you're reading aloud to him
  Don't let Z catch you skipping a page of his favorites!
  
• Teach himself to read by asking questions ("What's this letter?" "What's this word?"), watching TV, and/or hearing the same books read aloud several times
  I suppose most of their letter learning came from Leap Frog videos, but they were both very interested in letters and wanted me to teach them. They love games involving "what's the first letter in..." or "can you see anything that starts with..."
  
• Read early and progress rapidly
  J began reading words at age 3 1/2, but he was afraid of reading big words and sentences. He finally overcame that fear around his 5th birthday, but watch out. He jumped past the See Jane Run kinds of books and reads books with several paragraphs per page, silently (in his head), just 2 months later.
  
• Enjoy playing with words and inventing words
  J & Z both like to change the first letter of each word they say. So instead of saying, "Mommy, can I have more lunch?" they say, "Bommy, ban I bav bore bunch?" And then they'll switch to another letter and repeat it over and over again. I think they get bored with plain old English.
  
• Easily and spontaneously describe new experiences
  I suppose so. They're hardly ever at a loss for words.
  
• Give complex answers to questions (even simple questions)
  Oh my, J is just like his mother this way!
  
• Explain his ideas in complex and unusual ways
  Sometimes, I suppose. I would need to hear an example to stir up my memories.
  
• Have an early interest in printing letters, names, and words
  Both J & Z love(d) to type messages to their dad on instant messengers. J learned to write rather early, but Z doesn't seem interested. He'd rather type. He spells Dad, Mom, and his name easily. He "wrote" his first word, Dad, in fridge magnets just after he turned 2. But they definitely both posess great interest in letters. Z knew the entire alphabet, upper and lower case, before his 2nd birthday.
  

You Know Your Child Is Gifted When... Part One

The one book in my library about gifted children was You Know You Child Is Gifted When...A Beginner's Guide To Life On the Bright Side.

It was a great first book for me to read, I think. It gives some definitions and identifies several areas of giftedness. Of course, I was reading it with J and Z in mind, trying to identify their strong areas. I'd like to go through all of them and make notes about J and Z as I go. I think I'd better take each area one at a time, though. I don't think I can do more than one a day!

So here's #1.

Advanced Intellectual Ability (Really, Really Smart)

• Just seems plain smart in a lot of areas, including some that might surprise you.
  This is what people notice first about J & Z. Babysitters and total strangers pick up on it.
  
• Easily grasp new ideas and concepts.
  Definitely J.
  
• Understand ideas and concepts more deeply than other children his age.
  J tends to show his understanding by expanding the concept beyond what we've discussed with him, or by summarizing the concept while applying it to a new situation. It shows depth, and I don't think that's a common thing for kids his age.
  
• Come up with new ideas and concepts on his own, and apply them in creative and interesting ways.
  I can't think of any specific examples. A lot of times, J's wrong, but it's amazing that he's still thinking and trying to apply the things he's learned.
  
• Easily memorize facts, lists, dates, and names.
  Because it's spring, we've recently been talking about all the different plants that are now in bloom. I told the boys one time that the trees covered in purple blossoms are plum trees, and the yellow flowering bushes are forsythia. Z spends his car rides shouting, "There's a plum tree!" and J points out all the forsythia (I think Z can't quite wrap his tongue around that word!)
  
• Have an excellent memory and never forget a thing.
  We call J an elephant because he never forgets. His amazing memory is one of the first things we noticed about J, primarily when at age 2, he remembered what he'd gotten in his Easter basket at age 1.
  
• Learn new materials and to use new things more easily and quickly than other children his age.
  This is hard to compare outside of a school setting.
  
• Really love to learn--which may or may not include loving school.
  When we're teaching J something and pause, he says, "what else are you going to tell me?" He's thirsty for learning!
  
• Enjoy playing challenging games and making elaborate plans--the more complex, the better.
  Oh my, J makes elaborate plans. Just today, he invented a game and explained the rules to me in great detail, then created the props with his art supplies. He'll often make intricate plans for road trips we'll never take, including where we'll sleep and eat on the way.
  
• Have friends who are older (because he needs someone to match wits and interests with).
  Unfortunately, we've moved far too often for him to make any friends. We're working on that now that we're finally settled. His primary source of friends is his church Sunday school class, and they're divided by ages.
  
• Enjoy books, movies, games, and activities meant for older children or even adults.
  J fell in love with a movie about sending a robot to Mars when he was still 2. It was definitely meant for adults. He was completely enthralled when we watched American Experience about polio on PBS together. At the library, he always wants Eyewitness books, which seem about right for 6th graders. He also loved (and still does) Bill Nye the Science Guy videos from about age 3, which say they are for 4th grade and up. He can hardly bear to watch an unanimated movie for entertainment, but if it's nonfiction, he's more than happy!
  
• Know many things that other children his age seem totally unaware of.
  This is also difficult to measure because of our lack of friends and school experience. But I doubt many of his church friends could discuss black holes, the law of gravity, or viruses and bacteria.

Most of my observations were about J, simply because he's older. Z is a little more childlike, more laid back. I think he'll probably enjoy kid things more than J does, just because he loves to play more. But I'm sure he'll be following in J's footsteps quite easily.

Actually

I don' think I ever wrote this down before, but it's a crack up to hear my 2 year old use the word, "actually." It sounds like "ak-shoe-wee," which makes it even funnier. His tiny little voice, complete with all the usual speech impediments, says some mighty big words.

And last night, he said a very long sentence. He asked if we could go to the park, but we were already on our way to the Green Belt for a walk. So he said, "Maybe we could go to the park AFTER we go to the Green Belt." It just struck me as long. And it demonstrates his understanding of before and after, which J had quite a bit of trouble with. I remember he'd often ask, "Is before dinner right now, or is it later?"

One concept Z doesn't seem to understand is the "if you do this, you'll get this" concept. Like when I say, "you can have more fruit if you eat some more of your pasta." He just says, "I don't want more pasta, I want more fruit." We never waver, so he doesn't get the fruit unless he eats the pasta. Several people have suggested that he does understand, but he just doesn't care enough.

By the way, I'd love it if you would share your experiences in the comments. That is, in the unlikely event that anyone actually finds and reads this blog!

Trouble Sleeping

J has been having a hard time falling asleep. His bedtime is 9, but if I stay upstairs near his room, he'll ask me questions for another hour or sometimes longer. I usually tell him that we'll have to look it up in the morning.

The other night, though, I went downstairs immediately after tucking him in. 15 minutes later, he came down and asked for some ideas of how to make himself fall asleep. I told him the usual counting sheep, or singing a song, or even trying to breathe more slowly. He went back upstairs and presumably gave my suggestions a try.

The next night, he was having trouble sleeping again, and questions seemed to be coming a mile a minute. I told him that when I want to fall asleep, I try to think of absolutely nothing. He got a very distressed look on his face and said, "But I can't turn off my brain from what it's doing!"

Finally I suggested that he could say a prayer and talk to Heavenly Father, and that sometimes helps me fall asleep. He got a big smile and said, "Yeah, he likes to hear from us, because we're all his children, even grown ups!"

I didn't hear from him again that night, so I think maybe he found relief from his racing thoughts and his quest for knowledge.

Disbelief

I run across this all the time. I don't take my kids to the doctor for every little thing. I only take them when I'm very concerned. And because I have lots of training in human biology, I don't get concerned very easily. But doctors almost always try to minimize my concerns. Because, I'm sure, so many moms drag their kids to the doctor for every cut or sniffle, and it really isn't a big deal. I have often come home from the doctor completely dissatisfied with his answer, then taken action on my own. And I'm usually right.

But when our new pediatrician told me to start searching for gifted preschool resources, I never expected to run into the same kind of disbelief. I called school districts. I talked with other mothers. I looked online. Someone even told me, "Every parent thinks their child is special, but when they get to school, they find their kids are right on track with everyone else."

I took that to heart. There are a lot of kids these days that go to preschool, because their parents work. They get preschool in daycare, or even as daycare. So they know their letters and numbers and many even read before kindergarten. Poor kindergarten teachers are forced to deal with children who come with vastly different experiences. I stopped calling around and asking questions. I figured maybe I was making more out of J's comments and questions and seeming intelligence.

This is rather funny, because I think I'd completely forgotten that I was in the gifted program, and that my husband was, too. And that my niece and nephew are. It's not like he's some random mutation, he's highly likely, through genetics, to be gifted.

When we bought a house and started getting settled in, I started worrying about kindergarten again. I made more calls. And I discovered something. As our conversation began, the person on the phone would act like I was just another parent who thought her kid was so great, but was probably normal. But the second I mentioned that their pediatrician had asked me to make the call, they suddenly acted like maybe I wasn't making it all up. It also helped when I said I was in GATE when I was younger.

Surprisingly, it doesn't seem to make a bit of difference when I list some of his accomplishments. I have mentioned to a few different people that J started doing multiplication last summer. It evokes no reaction whatsoever. When I say he reads books by himself, there's not much of a reaction, either. I guess I can understand that. Maybe he's reading board books by himself, the kind that have five words on each page. And maybe they're books that I've read to him a million times and he just has it memorized.

I also get the feeling that people think I'm teaching him "tricks." Like I make him practice multiplication flashcards before I'll give him breakfast or something. I bet there are people who do that. Actually, I've babysat for some kids who had similar things done to them.

I guess I'll just have to wait for J to prove himself to his kindergarten teacher. Of course, it won't do much good. They don't have any sort of assistance for gifted kids until 3rd grade.