...they can't sit through a feature-length cartoon, but are thoroughly engaged during the entire 1-hour PBS show about the Hubble Telescope. And you didn't really mind that they stayed up an hour late to watch it, either.
...your 3 year old uses the words "ledge" and "collection."
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Homework Woes
J just won't do his homework. He doesn't like to write! His homework assignments are given on Monday and due on Friday. He has 4 days to work on it, but he says it's too much, that he's too tired. His gets to choose between two assignment options. One option is usually a story prompt. He draws a picture and writes a few sentences about it. The other option is usually to draw as many things as he can think of that start with the letter of the week and label them.
I let him choose what he wants to do, then he happily brainstorms with me and draws his picture. Then he tells me what he wants to write and I write it neatly for him to copy on the back of his picture.
Last night, after 2 hours of him sitting in his chair and doing who knows what (I did not sit there with him the whole time), I gave up. He would only write when I verbally told him the letters to write, even though it was all in front of him. He would NOT write anything if I didn't feed it to him letter by letter. He says he's too tired. Which is, of course, his excuse any time I ask him to do anything. He could be running around like a maniac one second, then flop on the floor and claim he's too tired to do anything if I ask him to pick up some socks! Argh!
So, thinking of the Love and Logic book I read a while ago, I decided to let him experience the consequence of not having his homework ready when it was due. I discussed consequences with him and asked him what the consequence would be if he didn't have his homework done. He decided he didn't care. So I dropped it.
He has afternoon kindergarten, and in the morning, he started to panic a little bit that his homework wasn't done. He started to write, again demanding that I feed him letter by letter. I was proud of his motivation, although he was still rather slow. He grabbed his lap desk and continued to write in the car on the drive to school. Even so, he barely got through 1/2 of what he'd agreed to write when the bell rang to go to class. I was proud of myself for letting him go with it half-done (and messy at that) and couldn't wait to hear what his teacher said about it.
Guess what she did? Nothing. Worse than nothing, actually. She picked today to start handing the homework back, complete with a sticker and "awesome story!" written on it. Yes, it was an awesome story, but he didn't write any of it. So how would she know how awesome it was? He basically only restated the question, plus about 5 more words.
So much for letting him experience the consequences.
I let him choose what he wants to do, then he happily brainstorms with me and draws his picture. Then he tells me what he wants to write and I write it neatly for him to copy on the back of his picture.
Last night, after 2 hours of him sitting in his chair and doing who knows what (I did not sit there with him the whole time), I gave up. He would only write when I verbally told him the letters to write, even though it was all in front of him. He would NOT write anything if I didn't feed it to him letter by letter. He says he's too tired. Which is, of course, his excuse any time I ask him to do anything. He could be running around like a maniac one second, then flop on the floor and claim he's too tired to do anything if I ask him to pick up some socks! Argh!
So, thinking of the Love and Logic book I read a while ago, I decided to let him experience the consequence of not having his homework ready when it was due. I discussed consequences with him and asked him what the consequence would be if he didn't have his homework done. He decided he didn't care. So I dropped it.
He has afternoon kindergarten, and in the morning, he started to panic a little bit that his homework wasn't done. He started to write, again demanding that I feed him letter by letter. I was proud of his motivation, although he was still rather slow. He grabbed his lap desk and continued to write in the car on the drive to school. Even so, he barely got through 1/2 of what he'd agreed to write when the bell rang to go to class. I was proud of myself for letting him go with it half-done (and messy at that) and couldn't wait to hear what his teacher said about it.
Guess what she did? Nothing. Worse than nothing, actually. She picked today to start handing the homework back, complete with a sticker and "awesome story!" written on it. Yes, it was an awesome story, but he didn't write any of it. So how would she know how awesome it was? He basically only restated the question, plus about 5 more words.
So much for letting him experience the consequences.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Mystery Worksheet
J finally came home with some extra work! It's a worksheet about pronouns. I searched for some kind of note from the teacher, assuming she'd scribble something to me about the more advanced work she'd sent home, but I found nothing. Not even a reply to the note I sent, asking if the kids were going to be able to wear their Halloween costumes to school (I loved that day when I was a kid!)
So I asked J, and he said that he was just taking his turn on the computer and the screen said "Print" so he did.
I don't know. I'll make him do it and send it back tomorrow and see if she says anything.
Could this be the start of the challenge she promised for J?
So I asked J, and he said that he was just taking his turn on the computer and the screen said "Print" so he did.
I don't know. I'll make him do it and send it back tomorrow and see if she says anything.
Could this be the start of the challenge she promised for J?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
"Not Worried about J"
J missed two days of school last week, our first school absence experience. I sent a note to his teacher, asking if he needed to make up any work, and if so, could she please send it home with him?
Her reply was, "I'm not worried about J. He can skip the work he missed."
Yeah, well, he could skip kindergarten entirely, but I'm hoping he'll actually learn something by going and doing work!
I don't care so much about the classwork. After all, it's probably better suited to 3 yr old Z. But I have yet to see any sort of effort from his teacher to challenge J.
She says that her own kids were all just like J. At first I took comfort in that, but now I'm wondering what she did about it back then? Did she just let her children be unchallenged in school? I hope that's not her plan for J. I'm really looking forward to parent-teacher conferences in a few weeks.
Her reply was, "I'm not worried about J. He can skip the work he missed."
Yeah, well, he could skip kindergarten entirely, but I'm hoping he'll actually learn something by going and doing work!
I don't care so much about the classwork. After all, it's probably better suited to 3 yr old Z. But I have yet to see any sort of effort from his teacher to challenge J.
She says that her own kids were all just like J. At first I took comfort in that, but now I'm wondering what she did about it back then? Did she just let her children be unchallenged in school? I hope that's not her plan for J. I'm really looking forward to parent-teacher conferences in a few weeks.
No challenges for J, just for me!
I keep thinking about something that J's kindergarten teacher said, and can't help but feel disturbed by it. "He seems to be having fun," she said. Yes, he is having fun. He even told me that he loves school because it's like something to do, somewhere to go, every single day!
I think it's great, too, because I don't have the energy to coordinate a playgroup or activity group for him every single day. Yay, the educational system does that for me! And it doesn't cost me anything more than I'm already paying!
But it doesn't mean that he's learning anything.
Sure, he's learning new, fun songs. He's learning to make friends, and how to sit still, form a line, raise his hand, and play games in P.E. He enjoys his homework, because he has to draw a picture and write about it. That's what he often spent his free time doing before school, too. And still does. I awoke to a special picture he drew for me this morning.
But what is school doing to help him further his reading abilities? He's "learning" letters. I put "learning" in quotations because he's known all the letters and sounds, sounded out words, and played the "how many things can you see that start with the letter ____" for 3 years now! That certainly isn't expanding his vocabulary or challenging him. Just because he doesn't mind playing those games with his peers in school doesn't mean that's what he needs.
Today he initiated a discussion about our egg cartons. One holds 18 eggs, one holds 24. He counted six down and 3 across and wanted to know how many it holds. So I reminded him that he can multiply them or add 6+6+6. He figured out all on his own that the one with 18 eggs is a dozen and a half, and the bigger one is 2 dozen. So I quizzed him, "what's 6x2? What's 6x3? What's 6x4? What's 6x1? What's 6/2?" He answered them all instantly and perfectly. Last night, Dad tried to stump him by asking what 1/2 + 1/4 is. It took him a little coaching, but he understood it within 2 minutes.
But in kindergarten class, they grab a handful of buttons or whatever from the "grab jar" and have to count how many, then draw a circle or other mark to record how many they grabbed. Hmmm....really challenging.
I am pleased with his progress in penmanship. At back-to-school night, I saw the other kids' depictions of their names. J's was a little better, but in the past week, he's astonished me and Dad with a drastic improvement. J wrote his name on the back of a toy to distinguish it from his brother's. When I saw it, I asked him if Daddy had written it for him. Turns out, Dad also thought an adult had written it. Wowza! Like most things in his life, he develops skills seemingly overnight, when he decides to put his mind to it.
I'm not criticizing the educational system. I'm sure these are wonderful activities for most kindergartners. But I am so frustrated because it's not what my son needs, and I don't know how to get him what he needs!
While J enjoys his free daily playgroup, I'm wading through what little information is available on parenting a gifted child. I don't know how to deal with some of the behavioral issues that are cropping up. Particularly frustrating is his attitude about effort. If he doesn't do something perfectly the first time, he refuses to give it a second shot. I know this is common for gifted kids, but it still doesn't help me deal with it!
It also doesn't help that I learned the same behavior, to some extent. It was as an adolescent and adult that I learned to set more realistic expectations and give myself time to excel at a new task. In the past 3 years, I discovered a new hobby, digital scrapbooking. I entered a contest for beginners and didn't win a thing. I was frustrated at first, and even gave up on it for a while. But I tried to be patient with myself and decided to put some real effort into the hobby. Because I persisted, I have found a lot of satisfaction, and even won a designer contest last year. I recently participated in another scrapbooking contest and made it to the final round before having to quit because of family obligations. I amazed myself! I know the satisfaction of putting effort into a new interest, but how can I teach that to a 5 yr old?
I've made a bit of progress in my giftedness research. Today I found an email group devoted to gifted interests in Idaho. But I was very disappointed to discover that there is less than 1 email per week, meaning it's inactive. Why can't I find ANY gifted resources? This is the most daunting, most important task I'll ever undertake, and I feel like I'm completely on my own.
I think it's great, too, because I don't have the energy to coordinate a playgroup or activity group for him every single day. Yay, the educational system does that for me! And it doesn't cost me anything more than I'm already paying!
But it doesn't mean that he's learning anything.
Sure, he's learning new, fun songs. He's learning to make friends, and how to sit still, form a line, raise his hand, and play games in P.E. He enjoys his homework, because he has to draw a picture and write about it. That's what he often spent his free time doing before school, too. And still does. I awoke to a special picture he drew for me this morning.
But what is school doing to help him further his reading abilities? He's "learning" letters. I put "learning" in quotations because he's known all the letters and sounds, sounded out words, and played the "how many things can you see that start with the letter ____" for 3 years now! That certainly isn't expanding his vocabulary or challenging him. Just because he doesn't mind playing those games with his peers in school doesn't mean that's what he needs.
Today he initiated a discussion about our egg cartons. One holds 18 eggs, one holds 24. He counted six down and 3 across and wanted to know how many it holds. So I reminded him that he can multiply them or add 6+6+6. He figured out all on his own that the one with 18 eggs is a dozen and a half, and the bigger one is 2 dozen. So I quizzed him, "what's 6x2? What's 6x3? What's 6x4? What's 6x1? What's 6/2?" He answered them all instantly and perfectly. Last night, Dad tried to stump him by asking what 1/2 + 1/4 is. It took him a little coaching, but he understood it within 2 minutes.
But in kindergarten class, they grab a handful of buttons or whatever from the "grab jar" and have to count how many, then draw a circle or other mark to record how many they grabbed. Hmmm....really challenging.
I am pleased with his progress in penmanship. At back-to-school night, I saw the other kids' depictions of their names. J's was a little better, but in the past week, he's astonished me and Dad with a drastic improvement. J wrote his name on the back of a toy to distinguish it from his brother's. When I saw it, I asked him if Daddy had written it for him. Turns out, Dad also thought an adult had written it. Wowza! Like most things in his life, he develops skills seemingly overnight, when he decides to put his mind to it.
I'm not criticizing the educational system. I'm sure these are wonderful activities for most kindergartners. But I am so frustrated because it's not what my son needs, and I don't know how to get him what he needs!
While J enjoys his free daily playgroup, I'm wading through what little information is available on parenting a gifted child. I don't know how to deal with some of the behavioral issues that are cropping up. Particularly frustrating is his attitude about effort. If he doesn't do something perfectly the first time, he refuses to give it a second shot. I know this is common for gifted kids, but it still doesn't help me deal with it!
It also doesn't help that I learned the same behavior, to some extent. It was as an adolescent and adult that I learned to set more realistic expectations and give myself time to excel at a new task. In the past 3 years, I discovered a new hobby, digital scrapbooking. I entered a contest for beginners and didn't win a thing. I was frustrated at first, and even gave up on it for a while. But I tried to be patient with myself and decided to put some real effort into the hobby. Because I persisted, I have found a lot of satisfaction, and even won a designer contest last year. I recently participated in another scrapbooking contest and made it to the final round before having to quit because of family obligations. I amazed myself! I know the satisfaction of putting effort into a new interest, but how can I teach that to a 5 yr old?
I've made a bit of progress in my giftedness research. Today I found an email group devoted to gifted interests in Idaho. But I was very disappointed to discover that there is less than 1 email per week, meaning it's inactive. Why can't I find ANY gifted resources? This is the most daunting, most important task I'll ever undertake, and I feel like I'm completely on my own.
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