No challenges for J, just for me!

I keep thinking about something that J's kindergarten teacher said, and can't help but feel disturbed by it. "He seems to be having fun," she said. Yes, he is having fun. He even told me that he loves school because it's like something to do, somewhere to go, every single day!

I think it's great, too, because I don't have the energy to coordinate a playgroup or activity group for him every single day. Yay, the educational system does that for me! And it doesn't cost me anything more than I'm already paying!

But it doesn't mean that he's learning anything.

Sure, he's learning new, fun songs. He's learning to make friends, and how to sit still, form a line, raise his hand, and play games in P.E. He enjoys his homework, because he has to draw a picture and write about it. That's what he often spent his free time doing before school, too. And still does. I awoke to a special picture he drew for me this morning.

But what is school doing to help him further his reading abilities? He's "learning" letters. I put "learning" in quotations because he's known all the letters and sounds, sounded out words, and played the "how many things can you see that start with the letter ____" for 3 years now! That certainly isn't expanding his vocabulary or challenging him. Just because he doesn't mind playing those games with his peers in school doesn't mean that's what he needs.

Today he initiated a discussion about our egg cartons. One holds 18 eggs, one holds 24. He counted six down and 3 across and wanted to know how many it holds. So I reminded him that he can multiply them or add 6+6+6. He figured out all on his own that the one with 18 eggs is a dozen and a half, and the bigger one is 2 dozen. So I quizzed him, "what's 6x2? What's 6x3? What's 6x4? What's 6x1? What's 6/2?" He answered them all instantly and perfectly. Last night, Dad tried to stump him by asking what 1/2 + 1/4 is. It took him a little coaching, but he understood it within 2 minutes.

But in kindergarten class, they grab a handful of buttons or whatever from the "grab jar" and have to count how many, then draw a circle or other mark to record how many they grabbed. Hmmm....really challenging.

I am pleased with his progress in penmanship. At back-to-school night, I saw the other kids' depictions of their names. J's was a little better, but in the past week, he's astonished me and Dad with a drastic improvement. J wrote his name on the back of a toy to distinguish it from his brother's. When I saw it, I asked him if Daddy had written it for him. Turns out, Dad also thought an adult had written it. Wowza! Like most things in his life, he develops skills seemingly overnight, when he decides to put his mind to it.

I'm not criticizing the educational system. I'm sure these are wonderful activities for most kindergartners. But I am so frustrated because it's not what my son needs, and I don't know how to get him what he needs!


While J enjoys his free daily playgroup, I'm wading through what little information is available on parenting a gifted child. I don't know how to deal with some of the behavioral issues that are cropping up. Particularly frustrating is his attitude about effort. If he doesn't do something perfectly the first time, he refuses to give it a second shot. I know this is common for gifted kids, but it still doesn't help me deal with it!

It also doesn't help that I learned the same behavior, to some extent. It was as an adolescent and adult that I learned to set more realistic expectations and give myself time to excel at a new task. In the past 3 years, I discovered a new hobby, digital scrapbooking. I entered a contest for beginners and didn't win a thing. I was frustrated at first, and even gave up on it for a while. But I tried to be patient with myself and decided to put some real effort into the hobby. Because I persisted, I have found a lot of satisfaction, and even won a designer contest last year. I recently participated in another scrapbooking contest and made it to the final round before having to quit because of family obligations. I amazed myself! I know the satisfaction of putting effort into a new interest, but how can I teach that to a 5 yr old?

I've made a bit of progress in my giftedness research. Today I found an email group devoted to gifted interests in Idaho. But I was very disappointed to discover that there is less than 1 email per week, meaning it's inactive. Why can't I find ANY gifted resources? This is the most daunting, most important task I'll ever undertake, and I feel like I'm completely on my own.